I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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