I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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