Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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