that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
