we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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