The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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