I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
