I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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