allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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