Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize