I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
