Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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