I haven't been this sober since birth.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize