You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
