he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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