I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
