I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dicks are not precious.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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