She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
