Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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