we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
