I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
