Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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