that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
