His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cockslap morals
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Randomize
