Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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