he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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