Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
