You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
