I just saw a hot homeless man
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
