i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
