Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
