I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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