GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
