Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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