he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
