and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
