k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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