Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
