I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
