we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize