It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
