alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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