Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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