My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
