i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
