her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
