dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
