i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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