i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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