He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
