We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
