That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
