That's intense
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
