I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
