She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
