I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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