his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We have started to decorate penises.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
