Just mADE A PArabola og urine
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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